Over the last year, the Lord has been providing me with a fresh glimpse of His heart -especially on the compassion front. He seems to be working it in to my own heart at deeper levels. The last twelve months have provided me with a multitude of opportunities to go way beyond traditional responses and 'trite right answers'. I have found myself getting one heck of a 'heart workout' this last year: a dear friend dies of cancer at 48, good friends on the verge of a very public divorce, one of my best buddies contemplating the gay lifestyle, numerous people in my life struggling with various 'stuck places' that hinder them from living their lives to the full, not to mention recent encounters on airplanes with people who simply can't worship God because they have a completely sabotaged view of Him due to their up-bringing/church experiences, etc.

Can you relate to this?

Now, here is the good part: our God - my God - absolutely loves people! His heart abounds with grace and goodness towards them and I have discovered that His desire is to 'always intervene to redeem.' Jesus laid down His life so that people might experience the reality of His life, love and power reaching out to where they are. I think that God actually likes to take me with Him into these real life journeys with precious people so that in the process I get to know Him and His heart much better -thus expanding the capacity of my own heart to receive and better express His deep well of compassion to those in my life.

Even though this really hurts and is very hard, I have decided I want a greater capacity for God's compassion. Anyone out there want to join me?

Last Friday evening, 'Good Friday,' Cheryl and I read through each of the four gospel accounts of the crucifixion sharing various thoughts and insights with each other. My big 'light bulb moment,' however, was Easter morning when I read the four accounts again - except this time reflecting on the resurrection and the events that soon followed.

In John's account, in chapter 20, we find that on the evening of resurrection day the disciples are hunkered down - seized with fear - and behind closed doors. Then, Jesus comes and stands in their midst. Imagine the minds and emotions of those disciples trying to catch up with the reality of what is in front of them - the risen living Son of God with nailed pierced hands and feet! Obviously, those present in that room are reeling and rejoicing, dumb founded and delirious with joy all at the same time! You can tell from the passage that things must have been pretty intense in that place as Jesus twice said to them, "peace be with you."

As you probably know, all the disciples were there that night - minus one - Thomas, the twin, or as some call him, 'doubting Thomas.' The text states that one week after Jesus' resurrection we have a bit of an instant reply: all the disciples together - Thomas, too, this time - behind closed doors - and Jesus comes and stands among them, again speaking "peace be with you." This time, Jesus personally addresses Thomas showing him His hands and side - inviting him to place his hands there - to touch Him to see that He was real. Thomas responds like how I would if it had been me instead of him - no need to touch -just let me fall on my face and declare, "My Lord and my God!"

My big 'light bulb moment' arrives with Jesus' words to Thomas, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."

As I read this familiar verse on Easter morning, it exploded right off the page likenever before. I realized that I was included right here in this very passage - for I have not seen and yet I have believed! I did not journey with Jesus when He walked this planet, nor was I there at His crucifixion or when the stone was rolled away from the tomb, and I was certainly not there behind closed doors when He appeared to His newly stunned and energized followers - yet I have believed with my whole heart for 35 years!

I am moved by this. I have believed and because of that I am blessed. Which means no matter what else has happened or will happen in my life - whether with people, alone, or even behind closed doors struggling with unbelief itself - I am blessed because I have believed!

I declareagain this day as I did on Easter, "I am a disciple of Jesus and I am blessed because I have and do believe even tho I have not yet seen."

And, so are you, if you have believed. Take the time today to celebrate this truth and enjoy the reality that one day we too shall see Him face-to-face.

~DB

March now marks one year since I heard these words uttered through my cell phone from a very dear friend. You see, Lorna - or Anuhea (her beautiful Hawaiian name) -who had been on our ministry team when we were a part of Youth With A Mission (YWAM) in Hawaii years ago, was dealing with the reality of the return of breast cancer. It reappeared very suddenly and arrived with a vengeance, catching both family and friends off guard, and forcing her into a face-to-face stare down with eternity. 

Over the next six weeks, this fun-loving, intense, passionate worshipper and pray-er, wife and mother of five, said her goodbyes, worked on legacy projects for those precious to her, and began to set her gaze on her soon coming heavenly home. We chatted four or five times on the phone during thesedays - sometimes there was great laughter as we recalled good times and friends, and other times there were waves of tears as she knew her days werenumbered with those whom she loved so very much - beginning with her husband, Steve, and their children, aged 8-22. I noted, however, throughout these last pages of the final chapter of her life that there seemed to be a real longing for eternity - and with that came a fresh perspective and focus that she owned right up until the time that she breathed her last breath. 

Sometimes it takes a reality-check like this - the death of someone you care about - to cause us to pause and reflecton how we are actually living our lives. As I reflected for several months on Anuhea's homegoing and the way she 'lived her death,' here were my takeaways:

1) Live daily with an eternal perspective

- What is really important to me - and what am I doing about it? What am I really living for - things temporal or eternal? Unimportant matters fall bythe wayside when measured with eternity.

- Am I walking in obedience in such a way on a daily basis that I will 'fulfill the purposes of God in my generation' (reminds me of Acts 13:36).

- Am I living my life in such a way that I am readying myself 'to join the company of saints who have gone on ahead of us.'

2) Live daily in the Fear of the Lord - which is reverencing and referencing God in all that we do

- Knowing that she was about to cross the threshold into eternity, Lorna was determined to make sure that she was 'right before God and man' (Acts24:16), which included writing several letters of restitution.

- It caused me to do some internal inventory as well to make sure that Iwas not allowing 'stuck places' in my heart and life to hinder me from being everything I can be before God and in life with those I love.

- This experience also drew me afresh to the wonderful 'ways of God' - as I walk in them I enjoy His presence and peace no matter what comes my way.

3) Live daily with a sense of focus

- Lorna became extremely focused in the last few weeks of her life -saying her goodbyes, then pressing more in to family and bringing to completion special projects for them. As a matter of fact she slipped into eternity theday after finishing her last project.

- My life is meant to make a mark on this world for God's glory – whether on one or many – that is up to God. Are my eyes set and heart focused in such away that I am attentive to His working in and through me?

- Those of you who know me well would also know that my heart drifted during this time to the question, "Am I on pace to finish well?"

Six weeks after our initial phone conversation, Anuhea was ushered into the Presence of the Lord while there in her home near Hilo, Hawaii, with her husband, Steve, by her side. She finished her life well - living out of an eternal perspective, with a very real sense of the Fear of the Lord, and with tremendous focus.

I did travel to Hawaii to help host Lorna's funeral, as I committed to do on the night that she initially called me. Although some 365 days have passed since then, I still find myself referencing to these moments and life lessons, asking the Lord Jesus to provide me with the grace and power to live my life as Anuhea finished hers.